¹⁴If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. ¹⁵But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.

                                                         Matthew 6, 14-15

Well, there I was, camped out in Huntsville State Park with my stack of books, seeking truth, and talking to a deer who had appeared and who was, with authority, giving me lessons in religious matters. He continued to speak with an authority that was almost palpable.

“How many times do you think that the word ‘forgive’ or ‘forgiveness’ appears in the Bible?” the deer questioned.

I thought for a moment. “A lot, maybe 40 or 50 times,” I guessed.

“Wrong! It appears 142 times,” the deer informed me. “It is extremely important in the context of salvation which is what the Bible is all about.”

“Human beings are sinful,” the deer added. “However, they cannot appear before God covered in sin. They must be cleansed. Their sins must be forgiven. They must be forgiven by God and it helps a lot if they are forgiven by those who were hurt by their sins.”

“If there is no forgiveness – no cleansing – then no one can appear before God. Thus, there is no heaven without forgiveness.” The deer added, “That is why forgiveness is talked about so much in the Bible. It is an absolute necessity for salvation.” The deer’s logic was sound.

“I have no trouble forgiving people,” I said confidently.

“Yes, you do. Forgiveness is a very hard thing to do. It is easy to accept the concept of forgiving people, but it is a very hard thing to put that concept into practice.

The deer began to lecture. “The worst part is that people fail to forgive and they don’t even know it. They feel justified in shunning or even hating someone or bearing a grudge. “

The deer continued, “Regardless of the setting, people find it very difficult to forgive. Husbands and wives bear grudges which may lead to unhappy marriages and even divorce. Siblings sometimes develop a rivalry. Brothers in business together sometimes cannot get along. They blame each other for problems with the business. Society does not forgive criminals. Society punishes them by sending them to jail, but continues to punish them - many times without justification - by treating them differently legally, socially and in the job market even after they have ‘paid their debts to society’ and have been released. And it goes on and on. The human instinct doesn’t want to forgive – it wants to retaliate – to punish. To forgive is to defeat this instinct”

“But do I have to forgive every evil person?” I asked.

The deer gave me hope. “No, only those that you come into contact with. But you must forgive each of them seventy-seven times or more. Check your book (Matthew 18, 22). Understand, however, that your forgiveness may not be met with gratitude. Take an extreme example: You may give a convict a job and he does not show gratitude – or he even robs you. Your loss is something of value, but your reward is the feeling that you enjoy knowing that you did the right thing. You forgave and offered that fellow human being a chance. That feeling is of far greater value than what he stole. Do not spoil it with animosity if he disappoints you. You receive your reward the moment that you give something – particularly if your gift is a spiritual one. You may receive more but don’t expect more.”

“This is kind of like that ‘turn the other cheek’ thing.” I was trying to simplify the concept that I was being taught.

“It is more than that. Forgiveness is going out of your way – against all of your human instincts of condemnation, revenge, animosity, and even hatred – to bestow a kindness on another human being, hoping that your act will have a redemptive effect on that person, on you, and on all those who witness or come to know of your holy act.”

This idea of forgiveness having an effect that spreads like ripples in a stream when a stone is tossed into it brought to mind an experience in my family. “My grandfather was in business with his brother. His brother was cheating him and others came to know about it. They were compelled to tell my grandfather of his brother’s dishonesty, expecting that he would confront his brother. But my grandfather already knew of the dishonesty of his brother and of the money that he had lost and his brother had undeservedly gained as a result. My grandfather simply replied to them, ‘If he can live with it, I can live without it.’ My grandfather forgave his brother for his theft without ever confronting him. Although I do not know the whole story, I feel that his brother must have known of my grandfather’s silent forgiveness and that it must have had a good spiritual effect on both of them and on the others who knew of the situation. It certainly has had an effect on me. I have come to know how good it feels to forgive someone who has harmed me and to know how humbling it is to be forgiven for a wrong I have committed. I have also come to know how hurtful and discouraging it is to not be forgiven when I have repented and have sought forgiveness. I pray for those who have failed to forgive, that they will realize the great good that can come from the exercise of forgiveness – for if they do not forgive they will not be forgiven.

“The Father does have a way of bringing great good out of great harm,” the deer mused

NOTE: The dialogue in this article was constructed from the impressions I received during my encounter with the deer and do not represent actual conversation. The gift of Reverence that I gained that night was, however, very real.

Links to all of Bob’s columns, including Parts I-IV of this series, can be found at www.newsnet713.com/BobConnor.htm

Bob Connor is a continuing education teacher at St. Ambrose Catholic Church. You can reach him at bobconn@earthlink.net